weekly wisdom girlbossheaven be unapologetically yourself

Weekly wisdom #2: Be unapologetically yourself

Every week* I will do a post called ‘weekly wisdom’. Here I’ll talk to you about one topic that stuck with for the whole week. And with my latest obsession of podcasts growing even more, I thought I needed to write down the things I’ve learned so far. So I can always have a look at them from time to time. What better way to do that than to share it with you at the same time?

 

*Still struggling with the consistency part here. I need to work on that….


Why do we have such a hard time being ourselves? Ourselves as in our most amazing beautiful self. Your personality and your soul make you who you are. You being you is what makes you special. So now let me ask you again: Why do we still struggle to show our true self?

This is what this weeks wisdom is about: Hiding away who you really are, when being unaplogetically yourself should be your option of choice.

Do you remember the last time you were meeting your best friend?

Maybe you are smiling right now because are thinking about how you were having so much fun. You felt so amazing in your own skin… because you felt accepted. You felt like home. You felt loved. You were able to be your true self.

Now remember the last time you met someone new. How did you feel and how did you act because of that?

If your answer is: I felt awesome and acted like always and showed my true self … than this blogpost might not be what you are looking for.

weekly wisdom girlbossheaven be unapologetically yourself

When meeting someone new, we often tend to only showing “our” best features. Features that are often not part of whom we actually are. We hold back and stay quiet. We have this picture in our head of how we are supposed to act in order to be liked by this new person. We talk about things we are not interested in just because they like it. We simply hide our best features.

What are your best features? What do you absolutely adore about yourself?

Here are a few things I absolutely adore about myself:

  • My compassion: It doesn’t matter if I have ever been in a similar situation like my friends, I always know how they must be feeling. How I would be feeling if I were in their shoes. That is why the always come to me for advice.

 

  • My craziness: I guess everybody thinks of themselves as some kind of crazy. Get to know me and I’ll show you my kind of crazy.

 

  • My way of motivating myself and others: Countless times I have been told how good I am at motivating, whether it was my colleague at work who was avoiding an unpopular task, or my friend who was putting of working out for a long time.

 

  • My willpower: Well, if I have set my sight on a specific goal that I want to reach – even though it might take me years – I’ll definitely reach it. End of story.

 

  • My way of directly asking for what I want/Saying what I think: My friend once told me that she thinks it is absolutely amazing that I just go for it and ask the questions I desperately want an answer to. What I also like about myself – and it goes hand in hand with directly asking for answers – is my way of saying what I think. Besides a little sensitiveness, I always say what I think.

Now that you have read what I like about myself, don’t you think that I must be unapologetically myself when meeting new people?

Well….sometimes. Not often enough.

This has to change! Not being unapologetically yourself is not acceptable.

Look at all the benefits of being your true self at all times:

  • You always feel confident and good in your own skin because you are not wearing a heavy and uncomfortable mask

 

  • People love you for who you are because they only know your true self and not a polished, shiny and kind of fake version of you. This will save you from unnecessary disappointments.

 

  • #YourVibeAttractsYourTribe, there is a special magic surrounding you when you are unapologetically yourself. This magic attracts the people you need in your life. The ones who enrich your life on a daily basis.

 

  • You will find your path. And you will only find your path if you are in peace with yourself and show that.

 

  • You life will be so much more chilled because you will always have your own back. Because you like yourself. Because you are in a good relationship with yourself. Diane von Fürstenberg once said: The most important relationship you have in your life, is the one with yourself.

My loves, I want to open your eyes to all the positivity being yourself brings with it. I want you to start showing the world how awesome you are. The world needs more people who are unapologetically themselves. Don’t try to inspire everybody around you to do the same (I mean do it! That is awesome!… but) start with you.! The first step to change is within you.

Do not waste your life away trying to be sombody else just to fit in, be liked by certain people, get a certain job…. Life is too precious.

 

 

how to rock your Job Interview girlbossheaven

How to rock your job interview

We all have been there. We probably will go there again. The well feared job interview.

Below, I am going to share my 7 (yes, seven!) foolproof tips for you on how to r o c k that job interview and actually get your dream position. Without futher do, let’s head into the magic.

how to rock your Job Interview girlbossheaven

 

Prepare: how to get there, how long it takes you….

Nothing is worse than being late on the day of your interview. Which kind of a first impression is that going to leave? How would you feel, if you were waiting for a possible candidate and they would be soooo late. Right, you would think they are not reliable, responsible or well, punctual.

To avoid that, preparation is key. Depending on if I am going to take my car or the public transport I do the following steps.

  • Google how to get there and how long it would take me without any obstacles (for example: traffic jam or missing a bus/train)
  • Add another half an hour and take off at home even earlier. This half an hour works as a buffer in case something unexpected happens (for example you not finding the address right away)
  • Optional: if you have the time and freedom: Drive there beforehand just to see where it is. So on the day the interview takes place you already know exactly how to get there.

Show them: How they can benefit from you

Oh what a crucial step in rocking your interview. Make them see why they need YOU in their team. This is the time to show up and present yourself. See it as kind of marketing yourself to a new customer aka your future employer.

  • Why are you the right fit for their company?
  • How does your education contribute to your knowledge?
  • What practical experiences do you have that are helpful for the position?

Maybe you are applying for a job that is outside of your usual industry. Showing them why you are the most amazing fit for them is even more crucial here. Try to use your knowledge and experiences and transfer them to situations that could happen in your new industry.

Let me give you an example: Imagine I would like to apply for a PR job. Right now, I work in a hotel, which means I am really good at dealing with people, talking on the phone and I know what it means to work in a service-based industry. My experiences so far are probably going to help me in PR when dealing with clients, journalists, talking on the phone, presenting in front of a larger group of people or convincing people.

Once they see how much you can benefit to their company, they might not even care anymore about your “lack of experience” in that certain industry.

Gather all necessary information about your possible future employer

Wouldn’t you be impressed if someone who wants to work for you knows all the little details about your company and what it stands for? I would! It shows that you are not only interested in the offered position but also in the company itself. It is so important that an employee identifies with the vision and standards of a company, so that the applicant not only becomes a simple employee but also an ambassador of the brand that is the company (Want to know more about that topic? Who would be interested in a blogpost about human resource topics? Comment below!)

Gathering all necessary information also works in your favour when answering the questions from your interview partner. I am sure they will ask questions like:

  • Why are you a great fit for the company?
  • What made you apply for our company?
  • Why do you like our work?
  • How did you find us?

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have

Your clothes should at all times be

  • … neat and clean
  • … appropriate
  • … fitting your body type

Aside from that, my first advice is that you should be wearing something that suits the position that you are applying for. In the finance sector for example your look should probably be more strict and within a certain decent colour range. The dress code might be a little bit less strict when applying for a creative job.

Have a look at the company’s website and social media accounts where you can maybe have a look at pictures of employees or something similar so you can get a feeling what to wear.

Once you have found out what type of style is appropriate, find pieces out of that range that fit your personality and body type. This is important so you can feel confident and act convincing and authentic. Nobody wants to interview and hire someone who obviously doesn’t feel good and confident in their appearance.

Not only choose something that fits your body type but also fits your unique personality. I know clothes aren’t everything still they are a great way so show your personality.

how to rock your Job Interview girlbossheaven

Be unapologetically yourself

This tip might be my favourite. Yes, it is. Through personal experiences I can tell you that the everyday life at work can be so hard and unfulfilling when you have to hide away who you really are. Don’t hide your beautiful and stunning self because that is who you are and that is who they will get. They will get you and your personality. So why hide away? Sooner or later, they will see the real you. Sooner or later, you will not be able to nor want to hide away what makes you you.

Use your uniqueness.

Show them.

If they love you = AMAZING. That is a company that you would want to work for.

If they don’t = SCREW THEM. Enough said.

Don’t be afraid to be totally honest + Ask ALL the questions

Are you currently working in a company and every day you discover something new? But, not in a good way. Suddenly all the negative sides of that company and its people seem to appear. The things you thought would for sure be fine. And you didn’t bother to ask or you were too shy. This is the biggest mistake you can make. Never ever just assume something. Of course, the company wants to present itself in the best way possible. If you don’t ask the uncomfortable questions, then they won’t tell you about it. A job interview is the best opportunity for you to get real and raw. Ask all the uncomfortable questions so you won’t have to face unpleasing surprises once you start working there. Make them show you who they really are and what they stand for. Is there anything that is important for you? Working hours, benefits, vacation days, vision of the company, your workspace… ASK THAT QUESTION!

Weekly wisdom #1 spring new york city empire state building

Weekly wisdom #1: The truth about dreaming big

Every week I will do a post called ‘weekly wisdom’. Here I’ll talk to you about one topic that stuck with for the whole week. And with my latest obsession of podcasts growing even more, I thought I needed to write down the things I’ve learned so far. So I can always have a look at them from time to time. What better way to do that than to share it with you at the same time?


Dreams. Dreams about starting your own business. Dreams about moving out. Dreams about studying something else. Dreams about becoming famous. It doesn’t matter. Dreaming big and actually doing everything possible to soon live those dreams is … so scary. This kind of scary that makes you want to go back to your comfort zone and pretend that you’re totally fine with your life the way it is right now. Because it isn’t that scary.

But, like… why? Why are those heartfelt dreams scaring the hell out of us? Making us settle for a less fulfilling, but more comfortable life? Btw. a less fulfilling life is not always more comfortable, don’t you think?  It is a mystery. I mean, dreaming big is working as a motivator to make them a reality so you can live a happy life. And still, it scares the hell out of us.

 

1. Just the fact that you want something, is a good-enough reason to do it + don’t wait for permission to do it

Out of my own experiences I can tell you that hearing other people’s opinions on your own dreams can work like a wrecking ball (did you just imagine Miley Cyrus, like I did? Hahah). We are all different and every one of us is unique. There is no other you … and that is your super power! Cliché but so true. Logically, our dreams and reasons to go after them are unique, too. That is the most amazing thing.

I made the mistake to expect others to understand my reasons. Most of the times they didn’t and that is okay. What is not okay is letting you stop that from pursuing them. If your heart is jumping faster when you think of your dreams... that is reason enough to go for it. I know, having the permission of someone – like your parents, your friends and your partner – is a great support and making the uncomfortable path to pursuing your dreams easier. Relationships might get twisted and change because those loved ones just don’t get why you’re doing something and that is okay. Because: the most important relationship you have in your life is the one with yourself.

 

You want something? Just do it. Trust your gut.

 

pring new york city empire state building GirlBossHeaven

2. Regret is an eternal question you are never going to get the answer to

One of my favourite quotes of all time says: Regret is what we should fear most. And this is so true. Rejections is an answer. Failure is an answer. But regret will be an eternal “what if” that is going to haunt you for the rest of your life. I am not kidding here.

A few years ago, I met someone and out of fear I was holding back all the feelings I had for this person. And two years later, I still think of this person and wonder what could have been if I wouldn’t have been so scared. All those ‘what ifs’ are daunting. This is an example of my private life but it can be applied to every situation in your life.

Don’t let that happen to you. Try to develop a mentality that includes the mantra ‘Better an ops, than a what if’ and live after it. If you apply this on a daily basis you’ll be surprised how life gets so much more enjoyable.

 

Don’t let your doubts and fear stop you, do it anyways.

 

3. You don’t have to live your life the way others excpect you to

Your parents, your friends and society. What do they all have in common? They have expectations on how they think your life should look like. Especially our friends and family only want the best for us and they have a certain perception of what “the best” looks like. You know, sometimes their version of “the best” isn’t what you want in life. And that is OKAY!

Still, even if we know that it is okay to live up to our own expectations we feel bad. Bad because we disappointed them. Bad because they only meant to do well and we didn’t take their advice. It is hard to shake that feeling of remorse off. It takes time and practice. And communication. Talk to your loved ones and tell them about your expectations and what you want in life. Show them how happy it makes you.

 

Live up to your own expactations. Because this is YOUR life. Live it like you want to.

 

pring new york city empire state building GirlBossHeaven

Book review Dale Carnegie GirlBossHeaven

A book about how to deal with people – Review

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

When lacking of motivation or inspiration, I am always on the lookout for new inspiring books that actually add value to my life. Which ones are your faves? There are so many of inspiring books out there and some will fit you more than others. We tend to judge books by their cover, like literally. I don’t like the font. I don’t like the cover. I don’t …  I am guilty of this as well! But you might miss out on some great books like this one. My first thought was “how can a book published in 1936 add any value to my life in 2017?” (I bought it last year). Oh god, I was so wrong.


 

 

Yep, the title might be a bit confusing at first and I was scared to read this book in public. Nobody wants to be seen reading a book on how to win friends. The title doesn’t do this book enough justice because it is so much more than a guide on how to win friends and influence others.

 

 

 

Even though this book was written over 82 years ago, it is still so relevant to our live in 2018. Dale Carnegie basically talks about how to handle and get along with people and still be yourself…. just a smarter version of yourself. I have experienced this myself that I often find myself in situations where I don’t know how to react or what to say or how to say it. In encounters with other people there is not always a positive connection and vibe right from the beginning … maybe there never will be one. Instead, you will see misunderstandings, antipathy, disrespect and a whole lot more. It sounds so sad, even though it is the truth. I am sure you have found yourself in situations like this a few dozen times. Am I right?

Think of your workplace for example. You want to be a good employee and get along with everybody (attention: not be liked by everyone. There is a difference), work hard and feel good and comfortable while being at work. But there is this one person (colleague, boss…), who misunderstands everything you do or say no matter what. You are about to give up and accept that you and this person will never get along. You are not meant to get along. If you have read Dale Carnegies book already, you know that you don’t have to get along with this person, you just have to make them believe you do. You are smarter and the person, who is more experience in dealing with people.  With your actions and words, you will take control over this situation and lead it so it becomes bearable for you again.

This book will teach you way:

  • to make people like you (even though they couldn’t stand you before)
  • to win people to your way of thinking (without having to force them to)
  • to change people without arousing resentment (and letting go of their bad habits)

 

 

 

So many phrases spoke to me, so I marked them all. From time to time, I go through some of them to keep them in mind in my daily life.

 

“… The human individual thus lives far within his limits. He posseses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use”

 

“By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment”

 

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity”

 

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do”

 

“One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation”

 

“We are interested in others when they are interested in us”

 

“You must have a good time meting people if you expect them to have a good tie meeting you”


Remembering all the times that there was a misunderstanding between me and another person just because we both have not been able to communicate correctly makes me sad. Also, I do remember countless times when I was misunderstood by other people. All of those encounters make me want to work on myself and learn a whole lot more about the art of communication and dealing with social settings.

If you are looking for a book that is based on pure truth and common sense, a book that is not re-inventing social settings, a book that is going to open your eyes to the obvious… then this is the right book for you!

Book review Dale Carnegie GirlBossHeaven