Every week I will do a post called ‘weekly wisdom’. Here I’ll talk to you about one topic that stuck with for the whole week. And with my latest obsession of podcasts growing even more, I thought I needed to write down the things I’ve learned so far. So I can always have a look at them from time to time. What better way to do that than to share it with you at the same time?
Dreams. Dreams about starting your own business. Dreams about moving out. Dreams about studying something else. Dreams about becoming famous. It doesn’t matter. Dreaming big and actually doing everything possible to soon live those dreams is … so scary. This kind of scary that makes you want to go back to your comfort zone and pretend that you’re totally fine with your life the way it is right now. Because it isn’t that scary.
But, like… why? Why are those heartfelt dreams scaring the hell out of us? Making us settle for a less fulfilling, but more comfortable life? Btw. a less fulfilling life is not always more comfortable, don’t you think? It is a mystery. I mean, dreaming big is working as a motivator to make them a reality so you can live a happy life. And still, it scares the hell out of us.
1. Just the fact that you want something, is a good-enough reason to do it + don’t wait for permission to do it
Out of my own experiences I can tell you that hearing other people’s opinions on your own dreams can work like a wrecking ball (did you just imagine Miley Cyrus, like I did? Hahah). We are all different and every one of us is unique. There is no other you … and that is your super power! Cliché but so true. Logically, our dreams and reasons to go after them are unique, too. That is the most amazing thing.
I made the mistake to expect others to understand my reasons. Most of the times they didn’t and that is okay. What is not okay is letting you stop that from pursuing them. If your heart is jumping faster when you think of your dreams... that is reason enough to go for it. I know, having the permission of someone – like your parents, your friends and your partner – is a great support and making the uncomfortable path to pursuing your dreams easier. Relationships might get twisted and change because those loved ones just don’t get why you’re doing something and that is okay. Because: the most important relationship you have in your life is the one with yourself.
You want something? Just do it. Trust your gut.
2. Regret is an eternal question you are never going to get the answer to
One of my favourite quotes of all time says: Regret is what we should fear most. And this is so true. Rejections is an answer. Failure is an answer. But regret will be an eternal “what if” that is going to haunt you for the rest of your life. I am not kidding here.
A few years ago, I met someone and out of fear I was holding back all the feelings I had for this person. And two years later, I still think of this person and wonder what could have been if I wouldn’t have been so scared. All those ‘what ifs’ are daunting. This is an example of my private life but it can be applied to every situation in your life.
Don’t let that happen to you. Try to develop a mentality that includes the mantra ‘Better an ops, than a what if’ and live after it. If you apply this on a daily basis you’ll be surprised how life gets so much more enjoyable.
Don’t let your doubts and fear stop you, do it anyways.
3. You don’t have to live your life the way others excpect you to
Your parents, your friends and society. What do they all have in common? They have expectations on how they think your life should look like. Especially our friends and family only want the best for us and they have a certain perception of what “the best” looks like. You know, sometimes their version of “the best” isn’t what you want in life. And that is OKAY!
Still, even if we know that it is okay to live up to our own expectations we feel bad. Bad because we disappointed them. Bad because they only meant to do well and we didn’t take their advice. It is hard to shake that feeling of remorse off. It takes time and practice. And communication. Talk to your loved ones and tell them about your expectations and what you want in life. Show them how happy it makes you.
Live up to your own expactations. Because this is YOUR life. Live it like you want to.