Don’t judge a book by its cover.
When lacking of motivation or inspiration, I am always on the lookout for new inspiring books that actually add value to my life. Which ones are your faves? There are so many of inspiring books out there and some will fit you more than others. We tend to judge books by their cover, like literally. I don’t like the font. I don’t like the cover. I don’t … I am guilty of this as well! But you might miss out on some great books like this one. My first thought was “how can a book published in 1936 add any value to my life in 2017?” (I bought it last year). Oh god, I was so wrong.
Yep, the title might be a bit confusing at first and I was scared to read this book in public. Nobody wants to be seen reading a book on how to win friends. The title doesn’t do this book enough justice because it is so much more than a guide on how to win friends and influence others.
Even though this book was written over 82 years ago, it is still so relevant to our live in 2018. Dale Carnegie basically talks about how to handle and get along with people and still be yourself…. just a smarter version of yourself. I have experienced this myself that I often find myself in situations where I don’t know how to react or what to say or how to say it. In encounters with other people there is not always a positive connection and vibe right from the beginning … maybe there never will be one. Instead, you will see misunderstandings, antipathy, disrespect and a whole lot more. It sounds so sad, even though it is the truth. I am sure you have found yourself in situations like this a few dozen times. Am I right?
Think of your workplace for example. You want to be a good employee and get along with everybody (attention: not be liked by everyone. There is a difference), work hard and feel good and comfortable while being at work. But there is this one person (colleague, boss…), who misunderstands everything you do or say no matter what. You are about to give up and accept that you and this person will never get along. You are not meant to get along. If you have read Dale Carnegies book already, you know that you don’t have to get along with this person, you just have to make them believe you do. You are smarter and the person, who is more experience in dealing with people. With your actions and words, you will take control over this situation and lead it so it becomes bearable for you again.
This book will teach you way:
- to make people like you (even though they couldn’t stand you before)
- to win people to your way of thinking (without having to force them to)
- to change people without arousing resentment (and letting go of their bad habits)
So many phrases spoke to me, so I marked them all. From time to time, I go through some of them to keep them in mind in my daily life.
“… The human individual thus lives far within his limits. He posseses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use”
“By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment”
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity”
“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do”
“One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation”
“We are interested in others when they are interested in us”
“You must have a good time meting people if you expect them to have a good tie meeting you”
Remembering all the times that there was a misunderstanding between me and another person just because we both have not been able to communicate correctly makes me sad. Also, I do remember countless times when I was misunderstood by other people. All of those encounters make me want to work on myself and learn a whole lot more about the art of communication and dealing with social settings.
If you are looking for a book that is based on pure truth and common sense, a book that is not re-inventing social settings, a book that is going to open your eyes to the obvious… then this is the right book for you!